“Are you willing to pay the cost?”
I roll the words over in my head.
What cost? Jesus paid the price of my sin. I am free. The price was paid.
Still I hear “Are you willing to pay the cost?”
What cost? I’ve heard the stories. I’ve prayed some prayers. I’ve gone to church. I’ve abstained from sex and drugs. I’ve tried to not curse. I’ve given my 10%. I’ve read the Bible. I’ve done these things that Christians should do.
“Are you willing to pay the cost of following me? Yes, outwardly, you have appeared eager. You’ve honored me with your lips saying you desire to follow me. But have you truly considered the cost of discipleship? What builder would start building without first counting up the costs? If he simply starts building without considering the costs, he may only lay the foundation before running out of funds.”
But still I ask, what is there left to pay? My sins were washed away.
He answers, “Yes, you sins are paid for but there is still the cost of following me. The cost is great, my child. Discipleship will cost your pride, your will, your worry, your worldly desires, and your life. And in addition to that, you will face rejection, snide remarks, sometimes loneliness, even possibly persecution. There will be trouble in this world. The road will not be easy and you will face trials. You will feel discouraged sometimes. You will have to place your trust solely in me and not in this world. You don’t have to fear because I have overcome the world but you have to trust me. I will guide you but you have to let me. You have to let me be God over your entire life; its duration and all that is in it.”
Before I even know what I am saying, my lips blurt out “But Lord, I know you are better than all things I could desire in this world. I’m never alone when I have You. Surely everything will be fine. I just want to follow You. You alone offer me eternal life.” It’s almost as if I had rehearsed this line over and over again just for this moment. I’m so quick to say it. I’ve been conditioned to say it.
He replies “You say these things with your lips. But remember you can’t fool me. I see your heart. You still cling to your reputation, your pride, and your desires. You want to fit in when I made you to stand out for me. Your knuckles are white from holding on so tightly to things that are fading away faster than you realize. You can talk, but in order to follow me, you also have to work. This is not a one time decision. It is a process that will last the rest of your life. I love you, dear one. I am with you and want you to draw nearer to me. I will not force you to though.”
A tear starts to roll down my cheek.
Am I ready to pay the cost? My lips say yes quickly. But talk is cheap. My heart however, wants to ponder the cost a while longer. And time is running out.
megsnotions 
For some reason your posts down show up on my reader. I came by today because I wanted to share your the videos you posted on my water to wine post. But now after reading this I want to reblog. You always amaze me.
Well thank you! I’m truly honored and humbled! Honestly, the night I wrote this, I just felt God pouring these words and thoughts onto my heart and mind. All glory to Him!
It’s really beautiful the relationship you have shows through.
Amen, He is awesome!
Reblogged this on descerning the heart of God and commented:
megsnotions was my very first World press friend. I love reading His blog. I learn something every time. He is very gifted at sharing his heart. Please check out his blog I am sure you will enjoy it!
Why thank you! I think this is the first time I’ve been reblogged. Haha. While I am truly thankful for your very kind comments…I must tell you that I’m a girl…not a guy…I never thought to put that in my “about” page…
Oh my goodness I am so sorry. I don’t know what made me think that. I guess I just assumed. Sorry!
I see Meg in your name now. I was reading wrong. I guess I wasn’t reading it at all. Sorry, sometimes I’m not quite with it
Same here! We all have times like that. XP No big deal.
I am so glad you did. I was like God why didn’t you tell me. He was like I just did. LOL I have sent a few prayers your way in time, He knew I need set straight. He was probably like cant you see her name is Meg. LOL I was reading it me gsnotions. I though I don’t what that means. Many blessings to you. Thanks for being so gracious about it all.
Haha no problem. And thank you!
To be honest I’m not sure what it means anymore. I thought of it about 2 years ago when I was a senior in high school. Originally I was planning on posting more crafty stuff than I actually do. Notions are required in sewing projects…and the idea megsnotions came to me and I just never changed it. Lol.
I like your name. I am sure most people can see it says meg. I am good at missing the obvious at times. I like doing craft stuff too. I sew a little bit. Hope you will share when you make something. Like the previous post with the doors. I really liked that, too.
Sounds like me. XP I’m really good at missing the obvious sometimes too.
Cool!! I sew but only a little bit too. Nothing too complicated. At some point I probably will post some pictures of some projects (sewing or otherwise).
And thanks!
Just to let you know. I did change the wording on the reblog.
Haha ok. 🙂 No big deal but I figured I’d mention it.
Lovely. vw
Thank you. 🙂
Thant you Denine for this connection with Meg. Meg thank you for your connection with your lord. I love these words.
Thank you!